The Rugrats' Millenium

By Birch Griesse

Tommy, Chuckie, Kimi and the rest of the rugrats gang sat in front of the television watching a movie called "One Thousand Years", a movie about the future. Flying cars zoomed across the screen. People in funny looking clothes made cloning machines and ray guns. Robots did chores for the advanced humans, and heroes battled aliens. The babies watched in awe.

"Wouldn't it be fun if WE could go in flying cars and fight the mean aliem peoples?" Tommy  asked his friends.

"I donno, Tommy," Chuckie worried, "That sounds kinda scary."

As usual, Chuckie's friends paid him no attention.

"I liked the lady with the prettifull, silver dressy!" Lil told the rest of the babies.

"Are you crazy?" Angelica , Tommy's cousin and a viscous bully, asked rudely, "That was the bad guy!"

"Oh," said Lil.

"I liked the guy who fighted the aliem!" said Phil.

"My favorite part was when the princess blasted the bad guys with her ray gun!" Kimi exclaimed.

"What was your favorite part, Angelica?" Tommy asked.

"Are you dumb babies kidding?!" Angelica cried, "That was the stupidest movie I've ever seen!"

Just then Didi walked in. She noticed the VCR was on and pushed the eject button. Out popped the movie.

"Oh my goodness!" Cried Didi, "This video is much to violent for you babies. Now, who wants to go to the park?"

Later, on the way to the park, Didi lectured Stu and Grandpa about letting the babies watch 'One Thousand Years'.

"I can't believe you let them see that!" Didi scolded, "They'll have nightmares for weeks!"

"Horsefeathers!" replied Grandpa Lou, "When I was a sprout we use to watch fifteen scary movies every day, and never once did we have a bad dream!" Didi rolled her eyes. Grandpa was known for stretching the truth.

"That's very nice, Grandpa," Didi said, "Oh, look, here we are!" Didi unbuckled the kids and lifted them out of the car.

She carried them to the playground, Angelica, Chuckie, Grandpa, and Stu close behind.

Didi and Stu laid out a picnic blanket. Grandpa Lou instantly fell asleep on a nearby park bench. Angelica rode her bike around the park.

"Let's play pirates!" said Kimi.

"Yeah!" replied Lil.

"I'm not so sure," Chuckie said.

"Oh come on, Chuckie, don't be such a baby," Tommy said.

"We needs a pirate ship," said Phil, "Howsa 'bout that!" Phil pointed to a bathroom.

"That's a BATHROOM Phillip!" Lil cried.

"So," said Phil.

"I gotsa better idea," Tommy told his friends, "Let's use that!" He pointed to a toy shaped like a sunken ship.

"Great idea!" Kimi cried. The babies climbed into the ship.

Tommy stood at the wheel of a huge ship, the Jolly Roger hanging from the flagpole. Tumbling blue waves surrounded them for miles around.

"Uh, Tommy..." Chuckie began.

"I'm not Tommy!" Tommy exclaimed, "I'm Cat-pin Tom and your my scurdy crew!"

"Well, uh, Cat-pin Tom, where ezacly are we?" Chuckie asked.

"We're on the open sea!" Tommy told him.

"That's what I was afraid of," Chuckie muttered. Suddenly ... thunder boomed and lightning crashed!

"Every baby below deck!" Tommy cried. The baby pirates hurried below the ships deck.

"This is getting boring," said Phil, "Let's go play something else." The babies climbed out of the ship... just to see that they weren't in the park anymore! Flying cars zoomed by. Robots did chores for people in funny looking clothes. Huge floating TV screens showed heroes battling aliens. The babies watched in awe.

Meanwhile, back in the present...

"Stu," said Didi, "we really ought to be going soon. I don't want to stay to long. Didi and Stu were playing cards on the picnic blanket with Dil sitting next to him on his bouncy seat. Grandpa was still sleeping on the park bench. Angelica sped by on her bicycle

"Oh, Deed, it's only 3:00. Just a few more hours? Please?" Stu begged.

"I suppose so," Didi answered.

Back with the babies...

"T- Tommy, wh-wh-where are we?" Chuckie asked.

"I think we're in the footure!" Tommy answered. The rest of the babies gasped.

"How are we gonna gets back to our mommies and daddies?" Kimi worried. Just then a teen in a red space suit and long blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail rode up to them on what looked like a floating skateboard with no wheels.

"Hello," she said, "are you lost?" The babies nodded.

"We're from the past," Tommy told her. The girl looked confused.

"We was playin' a game and then we ended up here, which is a Thousand years in the future from where we were in the past," Kimi explained, "and we wanna getses back to our time.

"Capsohisticall!" cried the girl.

Now it was the babies' turn to be confused.

"It means, um, amazing," the girl explained, "Maybe you can live with me. I know! You can help me work on my time machine! Then you can go back to your time in it!" The babies cheered.

"By the way, my name is Theresa Ferguson, or Fergie. What are your names?"

"Well," said Lil, "I'm Lil,"

"And I'm Phil," Phil finished.

"And my name is Chuckie," Chuckie said nervously.

"An' I'm Kimi," Kimi told her.

"An' I'm Tommy,"

"What strange names," said Fergie, "Here climb on my Star Cruiser. She pointed to the red

skateboard-looking thing. The babies didn't understand.

"Escuse me, Thirty, but what's a Scar Buiser?"

"It's this thing," Fergie pointed to the skateboard thing again. "You can call it SC."

The babies climbed onto the SC and wrapped their arms tightly around Fergie's legs, a little scared. Within seconds they had come to a high circular tower.

"That's the dormitary," Fergie explained, "It's like a house where a lot of people live, and we each get one room."

Fergie took them to her room. She opened the door.

Mother, Father!" she cried, "I am home!" A woman with short brown hair in a beautiful, silver dress accompanied by a man in a sparkling black suit emerged from behind a laser-beam wall.

"That is my mother, Martha, and my father Freddy," Fergie whispered.

"Momma," Lil repeated to herself. The name sounded sort of familiar, but she just couldn't place it.

"Theresa!" gasped Martha, "Who are those ... those..."

"Strangers you have brought with you?" Freddy completed his wife's question.

Back with the adults...

"Stu, I really think we should go now," Didi said, "It will be getting dark here pretty soon."

"Oh, come on, Deed, we're having so much fun!" Stu insisted. Then Grandpa woke up.

"What's all the hubbub?" Grandpa asked, cranky and mad about being awakened, "I was having the best dream of my life, so it had better be important! Can't an old man get some sleep around here?"

"Sorry, Pop," Didi apologized.

"Didi wants to go home," Stu said.

"Oh, you young folks today! It's not even dark yet!" Grandpa cried before falling back to sleep. Suddenly their was a crash and a unmistakably loud wailing. Grandpa jerked awake.

"Angelica!" Stu, Didi and Grandpa all cried at the same time. Angelica had crashed her bike into a tree and lay on the ground with a brused leg and a cut on her arm, sreaming at the top of her lungs.

Back in the future...

"Well," Fergie explained, "They're my friends. They come from one Thousand years in the past!"

"One Thousand years!?" Martha exclaimed.

"That's impossible!" cried Freddy, "No one can live that long!"

"I think they went through a time warp," Fergie explained. Martha and Freddy whispered amongst each other. Lil stared at Martha the whole time.

"Have I seed you 'afore, Momma?" she finnaly asked.

"My name is Martha, not 'Momma', and no I have never seen you 'afore'," Martha answered coldly, then whispered] with her husband some more.

"That's a prettiful, silver dressy," Lil told Martha. Just then something in her brain sparked. But how could she be sure?

Meanwhile, in the twenty-first century...

"It's OK, Angelica," Didi comforted a balling Angelica, "It's OK." She sat down on a bench and picked up her first-aid kit. She held up Angelica's arm and dabbed it with a cotton ball. Then she sprayed some 'stingy stuff' on it, which made Angelica let out a short, sharp, shrill screech. Then she put a pink Cynthia bandage on it. Then she did the same for her leg.

"I think we'd better go now, Stu," Didi tried again, "Go get the babies."

"Where ARE the babies?" Stu asked.

"I don't know. Pop?"

"Nope," Lou replied, shaking his head.

"Not again!" cried Stu and Didi.

Again with the babies...

"Well," said Freddy when he and Martha had finnished whispering, "if they are going to stay with us, we would like to know their names."

"This is, uh, Timmi, Charlie, um, Kiki, Bill, oh, uh, and Jill," Fergie answered, in turn pointing to each baby. The babies didn't mind that Fergie hadn't said their names correctly.

"Now we need a place for you to sleep," said Martha.

"Follow me," said Freddy. He lead them into a tiny room.

"Bender!" called Freddy. A robot seemed to appear out of thin air right in front of them!

"What do you need this time?" the robot asked.

"Five pillows, five blankets," Freddy commanded.

"Sure, hold on...", said Bender.

The robot disappeared and reappeared amost instantly with five pillows and five blankets.

"Make beds," Freddy ordered. within seconds five makeshift beds had been set up right next to each other.

"Darn!" cried Freddy, and the robot disappeared, "Now, who is hungry?" All of the babies were starving. Kimi had one question.

"What's 'Darn' mean?" she asked.

"Darn means, um, uh, well, uh, perfect," Freddy answered.

Here the babies realized their first problem. The Ferguson's didn't have any babies, so they didn't have any baby food or bottles.

"Not to worry," said Martha when Phil and Lil pointed this out. She opened what looked like a catolog and turned to the baby section.

"What kind of baby food would you like?" asked Martha.

"Uh, banana," Tommy replied.

He turned to his companions. They nodded their heads in agreement. Martha found the banana baby food and touched her finger to a small five underneath it. Then she found the milk.

"What kind of milk would you like?" asked Martha, "Banana, strawberry, chocolate, spinach, powdered, soy or regular?"

"Chocolate!" the babies all yelled at once. Martha touched her finger to a five printed under the chocolate milk.

Martha pointed to a part of the wall that had two gauges attached to it. One gauge notes the amount of credit the Fergusons used, and the other notes the credit they have left. Next to them is a delivery tube.

"Watch," she said as she closed the catolog.

With the adults...

Didi, Stu, Grandpa Lou, and Angelica had thoroughly checked every nook and cranny on the playground, and had found no trace of the babies. Didi ran over to a pay phone and inserted a quarter. She picked it up and dialed 911.

"Hello, operator?" Didi said, "Please give me the police station." Didi talked with the police for a little while then hung up. In a few minutes the cars drove into the park's parking lot. Officers approched the worried parents.

"Where was the last place you saw your children?" asked and officer with long blonde hair tied back in a ponytail.

"Over on our picnic blanket," Didi answered.

"It is very unlikely they could have left the park," The officer muttered, then a bit louder, "Split and search! I don't want ONE INCH of this playground left unchecked!" The officers scattered in different directions.

"Don't worry," the officer reasured the parents,"We'll find your kids."

With the babies...

The babies watched the delivery tube. Their eyes widened when the numbers changed on the credit gauges. They widened even larger when five bottles of chocolate milk and five jars of banana baby food shot down the delivery tube.

"Mother? Father?" cried Fergie, "May I work on my time machine so I can send my friends back to their own time now?"

"Um, not now Frity-Wity, it's, uh..." Martha began.

"time to eat supper!" Freddy put in.

"Oh, alright," said Fergie, disappointed. Freddy called the Bender robot, and it brought them their meals. The babies ate greatfully and quikely. Then it was time for them to go to bed. Fergie went her room to work on her her time machine. Martha and Freddy were the last ones to leave the dinner table.

Fergie tightened nuts and bolts on a wierd looking machine. She reached for another screw, but she was all out! She went to get some more. As she passed her parents' bedroom, she heard them talking. She stopped to listen.

With the adults...

The police officers looked and looked. One entered the ship toy. "I think I found something!" He cried.

Everyone crowded around the ship. The officer held up one of Chuckie's shoelaces. Didi gasped. Then, a very old lady sitting on a bench near the ship, said,

"I think I know what happened." Everyone turned around.

"What? What do you know?" Didi gasped.

"I think they were sent through a time warp to the future!" the woman honestly. One of the officers grabbed the lady.

"Call a nursing home," he said, "This one's crazy."

With the babies...

Fergie sat listening to her parents' conversation. She gasped at what she heard!

"Finally we can make some money!" cried Freddy.

"We just sell those babies to the museum as an example of primitave life forms! We'll make Thousands! Then we can give up posing as the parents of that little orphan and finally get the recognition we deserve!" Martha added.

"You don't deserve anything," Fergie whispered to herself. She stood silently up and dashed to the babies bedroom.

It was to late! They were nowhere in sight!

Meanwhile, at the museum...

Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, Lil, and Kimi sat in an exhibit case, set in a model that was supposed to look like their neighborhood. The case was made of laser beams that could only be seen from the inside.

"I shoulda knowed," Lil muttered.

"Knowed what?" asked Phil. Lil had not intended for anyone to hear her.

"I shoulda knowed she was the bad guy in the prettiful silver dressy!" Lil said. The babies gasped. The movie was real!

Back at the Ferguson's house...

Fergie knew the babies would be at the museum and that she needed to rescue them. She also knew that she would need help. So she called a few of her friends. Fergie pushed a button on her wall. She listed the names of the poeple she wanted to call. The screen divided into four sections as four sleepy friends' faces appeared.

"What is it?" asked one grumpily.

"I'm glad you asked," Fergie replied. She told them the story. When it had ended, all four friends were wide awake.

"Bring usefull things and come to my house immediately!" Fergie instructed. Seconds later all four friends emerged from a small box at the corner of Fergie's room.

"Let's go!" Fergie whispered. Her friends followed her through the house. Outside, Fergie and her friends Jumped on their SC's and sped toward the museum.

At the museum...

The babies sat in the cage, crying quietly.

"Now we're stuck in a you see em' in the footer!" Tommy whimpered.

"This a'venture isn't no fun any more," Phil sniffed.

"An' we'll never see our momies and daddies agian!" Chuckie wailed.

"Don't say that!" Kimi cried. But even she had lost hope.

"We need a mirabull," Lil said softly. And thats just what they got!

Just then, Fergie and her four friends burst into the museum. The babies cheered. Out of her pocket, Fergie pulled the key the de-activated the laser cage. She pushed into the slot and the babies climbed out. Suddenly, the museum gaurd ran up to them, clutching a ray gun.

"What do you think your doing, you... Fergie? Donna? Harry? Rebecca?" He seemed confused, "I would have expected better from you four!"

"Wait!" said Fergie. She explained her story. Fortunately, she had caught her "parents" whole conversation on tape.

That very next morning, a trial was held against Martha and Freddy Ferguson. They were proven guilty. Fergie finnally got a chance to finnish her time machine!

It was time for the babies to go.

"I'll go with you," Fergie told them. The babies were excited!

"You mean your gonna live with us?" asked Tommy.

"No," said Fergie,"I'm just going to make sure you make it back safe, and that your parent understand. Then I'm coming right back." The babies looked a little sad.

With the parents...

The very next morning, the parents and the officer were up bright and early and were at the park. Acrowd was gathered in the middle of the park when suddenly there was a flash of bright light and the babies appeared along side Fergie. They ran happily to their parents, who were staring at loss for words, at Fergie.

"Your babies were sent through a time warp to the future," She explained.

Then, just as quick as she arrived, she ran out of sight before warping back to her time.

Didi said, "I'm glad she found the kids, but she has to lay off on those sci-fi movies -- I think those films are warping her brain."

The End

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