Mind The Rugrats, Mr. Bean

by Steve Mindykowski

A spot of light appears on the brick pavement, slowly growing. As soon as it has gotten large. Mr. Bean (Rowan Atkinson) plummets from the heavens. Afterwards, he gets up and walks away. The chorus sings the Mr. Bean theme, but the Latin word for "Mr. Bean" is replaced with the Latin word for "Rugrats". While they sing, the title and credits appear, before the light shrinks back down.

We turn to the Pickles residence. Stu and Didi are planning to go see the new South Park picture with the other adults, Grandpa, Betty, Howard, Drew, Charlotte and Chazz. However, they are still trying to find the babysitter. Didi said, "A thousand Yellow Pages and not one babysitter that's available. I think these fingers did 'The Long March'."

The doorbell rings. Stu opens the door to find Betty and Howard with the twins, Phil & Lil. They said their hellos while Betty places the twins into the playpen. Didi said to Betty, "I'm anxious to see the film, but I just can't seem to find a babysitter anywhere. As for the neighbors, Lucy's doing double duty tonight flying the medical helicopter, Randy's in Cannes with Paul Gatsby, and Boris and Minka are volunteering at the synogogue." "One of us can stay home," Grandpa suggested. Didi questioned, "You want to stay home and look after the kids?" Grandpa said, "No way; I ain't missing this movie for the world!" Stu then asked, "We can take the babies." "But Stu, the movie's rated 'R'," said Didi. "Oh yeah," said Stu.

Betty then jumped in: "You know what, Howard has a new co-worker who came from London who's great with the kids; he doesn't know his first name, but everyone calls him 'Mr. Bean'. Here's his number."

Didi called Mr. Bean. Afterward, she said, "He'll be right over." A few minutes later, an Austin Mini pulls into the driveway. After he gets out of the car, he locks the door with a padlock, then proceeds to the door. Didi answered it and said, "Hi, I'm Didi Pickles, and you must be..."

"Bean", replied Mr. Bean.

Didi took Mr. Bean to the babies: "Mr. Bean,  here are the babies, Tommy, Chuckie, Phil and Lil. Over here is Angelica, and in his room is Dil."

Mr. Bean says, "Nice to meet you."

Stu says, "We gotta get going; if we're late, we won't get any nachos."

After Didi showed him where the necessary stuff is (formula, numbers, etc.), the adults leave, leaving Mr. Bean all alone with the kids.

When everyone's gone, Chuckie gets scared: "Tommy, I'm scared of the Bean."

Tommy replied, "He looks just like anyone else."

Phil asks, "Can we eat him?"

Lil answered, "Not so fast; we just ate."

Angelica then jumped in: "You dumb babies get dumber and dumber by the minute. Mr. Bean is not made for eating; he's made for eating YOU! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

The Rugrats gasped. Chuckie said, "We gotta get out of here!" Tommy said, "You're right; get me my screwdriver!" Tommy opens the playpen, and the Rugrats bolt. Mr. Bean then enters the living room with his teddy, finding that the Rugrats were gone. Angelica then said, "Mr. Bean! Mr. Bean! The Rugrats went into the garage!" He took Angelica to the garage, but the Rugrats weren't there. He left Teddy behind, only to be picked up by Spike.

We then cut to the Mini, where the Rugrats somehow got in. "The bean won't find us in here!", said Tommy. Chuckie said, "I hope you're right." Lil then found a coin on the floor; it's a British penny. She said, "Look!  It looks just like a penny, only it's as big as a quarter!" "Save some for me!", said Phil. 

While they hid, Mr. Bean and Angelica got into the Mini, then drove around the neighborhood.

They stopped at a local bank. At the bank are 2 window-washers that looked like crooked bank examiners. They washed their way to the safe, and left the bank, only to be mistakenly tripped by Mr. Bean. The crooks were soon arrested, and Mr. Bean was given a reward: $100 worth of pennies. He and Angelica them proceeded into the bank.

While this happened, the Rugrats climbed out of the Mini and into the bank building. Bean and Angelica was waiting in line to make a deposit. The Rugrats went across the line. When the line moved, Mr. Bean tripped over the Rugrats, spilling his pennies. "Look; Pennies!", said Lil, as she tries to scoop them up. "Not now! We gotta get out of here!", said Tommy. The Rugrats returned to the Mini. Soon afterward, Mr. Bean and Angelica do so as well. "Let's go home," said Mr. Bean.

On the way home, Chuckie accidentally sneezed. Mr. Bean looked puzzled by the noise, but kept driving. Chuckie szeeded again, but Mr. Bean drives on, though still puzzled. When Chuckie sneezed again, Mr. Bean looked in the back seat and said, "Bingo!"

After he found all the Rugrats in the back, he took them to the Toy Palace, where he bought toys for the Rugrats, including a toy Dalek that he liked for himself. While looking at it closely, he leaned on a castle made of Legos, which broke apart and collapsed. On the way out, he bumped into the toy Reptar, which he activated. Reptar then followed the kids into the Mini, with Mr. Bean not aware that he's in there.

The Rugrats looked up to find Reptar riding along. Tommy said, "Look! Reptar's riding around with us!" Phil said, "Is he sleeping over?" Lil replied, "Nah; maybe he wants to eat the Bean."

They all got out of the Mini, with Mr. Bean still not aware that Reptar was in back. When they got into the house, there was stuffing all over the place. Mr. Bean looked so sad, especially when he found out that Spike has chewed them all up. Mr. Bean gathered all the stuffing and stitched Teddy backed up again, though slightly different than before Spike got to him.

After the Rugrats were placed into the playpen, Mr. Bean proceeds to make formula for the Rugrats. He got them into the bottles, then proceeded to place a drop of formula on his wrist. After a few attempts, it still didn't come out, so he liike directly at the nipple when it came off, and Mr. Bean was covered with formula.

Soon after, the babies cried, and, according to his nose, Mr. Bean decides to change Tommy, Phil & Lil's diapers. The smell was so great, he couldn't stand to change them. But, he had an idea. He took a washcloth and put it over his face. Then, he put on rubber gloves. Then' He took spaghetti tonges and changed the diaper using them. Afterwards, he used the tongs to throw out the diapers, the washcloth, the gloves and the tongs.

Shortly afterward, Mr. Bean put the Rugrats to bed, uneventfully.

Just then, the parents got home.

Didi said, "How's the kids?"

"Great," said Mr. Bean.

Stu then paid Mr. Bean. Then. Mr. Bean started to leave.

Back at the crib, the Rugrats woke up.

Lil said "That bean's so friendly; I don't want to eat him." Tommy replied, "Same here. Besides, I don't think he tastes good."

Mr. Bean then pulls out of the driveway, onto the street. While driving, Reptar was acivated and said, "Halt! I am Reptar!" Mr. Bean was startled. The picture freezes, then fades before the closing credits and theme starts.

The End

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