The Tweenage Rugrats In:
"And Now... These Messages"

By Dwayne Anderson & Steve Mindykowski



Let's watch a little TV.

Bob Barker: Showcase Showdown #1 is coming up... right after we show you this.

Ad Announcer: And now, here's how Tommy Pickles eats a Meese's Peanut Butter Cup.

Tommy walks into the room. He spots the candy.

Tommy: Oh wow! Peanut Butter and Chocolate!

He reaches for the candy, but pulls back.

Tommy: Oh that's right! Candy like this is full of sugar. My mother always says that sugar isn't good for you. And I remember that Forrest Gump's mother said that life is like a box of chocolates. You're never know what you're going to get until you bite...

Ad Announcer: Uh Tommy, just eat the candy.

Tommy: Yes sir.

Tommy takes one of the candies. He bites into it, then holds it up to show the camera.

Tommy: Hey look! A crescent moon! I guess the moon isn't made of green cheese!

(An orange screen appears with a package of Meese's Peanut Butter Cups, with their slogan. The announcer reads the slogan.)

Ad Announcer: It's impossible to incorrectly eat a Meese's.

Tommy: Oh look! A lunar eclipse!

Later on...

George Gray: One of these contestants will be leaving with the money; the rest will leave with nothing. The final round will decide it all when we return... to "The Weakest Link".

Ad Announcer: And now, here's how Dil Pickles eats a Meese's Peanut Butter Cup.

Dil walks up to the table.

Dil: I know I'm not supposed to eat snacks between meals, but in this case, I'll make an exception. But before I do, let me tell you candies a joke -- Ding Dong! No wait, that's how the joke would start if the person outside wasn't stupid enough to ignore the doorbell!

(Laughs are heard)

Ad Announcer: Uh Dil, please, eat the candy already. Keep this up and the crew will laugh themselves to death!

Dil: Sorry sir.

Dil takes one of the candies. He takes several bites out of it. Then he shows the camera a candy with a smiley face.

(Everyone laughs as the orange slogan screen appears)

Ad Announcer: It's impossible (snicker) to incorrectly eat (snicker) a Snickers, er, a Meese's.

Dil: Let me tell you the joke about the Meese's Peanut Butter Cups!

Ad Announcer: Maybe later.

Later...

News Anchorman: We'll have our 7-day forecast with chief meteologist Sonny Day, when we return.

Ad Announcer: And now, here's how Chuckie Finster eats a Meese's Peanut Butter Cup.

Chuckie picks up one of the candies. He takes a small bite out of it.

Chuckie: That's funny. I didn't even hear you say "Ouch".

Ad Announcer: Uh Chuckie, let me tell you something. IT'S CANDY! IT DOESN'T HAVE FEELINGS!

Chuckie: Sorry.

He finishes eating the candy.

Ad Announcer: It's impossible to incorrectly eat a Meese's.

Later...

Pat Sajak: We'll put a $5000 space on the wheel, when we return.

Ad Announcer: And now, here's how Phil and Lil DeVille eat a Meese's Peanut Butter Cup.

Phil takes one of the candies.

Lil: Hey! That was mine!

She grabbed one end of it.

Phil: I had it first!

Lil: Did not Phillip!

Phil: Did too Lillian!

Lil: Did not!

Phil: Did too!

Lil: Did not!

Ad Announcer: Uh Lil, there's another candy for you.

Lil lets go of the candy. Just as Phil eat the other candy, Lil takes the other one. But soon they begin fighting over it again.

Ad Announcer: It's impossible to incorrectly eat a Meese's.

Later...

Johnny Gilbert: Closed captioning for "Jeopardy!" is sponsored in part by...

Ad Announcer: And now, here's how Susie Carmichael eats a Meese's Peanut Butter Cup.

Susie walks into the room carrying a sign saying "Save Our Planet From Pollution". She takes the candy and pops it into her mouth. Then she continues marching with the sign.

Ad Announcer: It's impossible to incorrectly eat a Meese's.

Later...

Show Announcer: "The Simpsons" is brought to you by Meese's Peanut Butter Cups -- It's impossible to incorrectly eat a Meese's.

Ad Announcer: And now, here's how Kimi Finster eats a Meese's Peanut Butter Cup.

Kimi walks into the room. She spots the candy.

Kimi: Ooh, chocolate. Dad, what should I do?

(Kimi hears the voice of her natural father...in her head that is!)

Kimi's Father: Kimi, back in Paris, chocolate was a delicacy. I remember on our honeymoon with your mother, we dipped strawberries into melted chocolate and ate them. We did it on our wedding anniversary too.

Ad Announcer: Uh Kimi, could you please eat your candy? I don't got time to hear advice from your father. Heck, I can't even hear him!

Kimi: But...

Ad Announcer: Just eat the cups ok?

Kimi picks up one of the candies and places it onto the table. Then she karate chops it in half. Unfortunately, she also breaks the table.

Kimi: Oops.

Ad Announcer: We'll have to get another table. And we're taking the cost out of your salary from this contract.

Kimi: Nuts!

Ad Announcer: Hey, I was just kidding. We got a replacement already.

Kimi: Sorry about the table.

She picks up the candy halves and eats them.

Ad Announcer: It's impossible to incorrectly eat a Meese's. Ok guys, let's bring in another table.

Later...

David Letterman: We'll be back with tonight's Top Ten List!

After about 30 seconds of applause and Paul Shaffer's music...

Ad Announcer: And now, here's how Angelica eats a Meese's Peanut Butter Cup.

Angelica appears, dressed in fancy clothing.

Ad Announcer: Uh, Angelica, change into something else. This is a commercial, not a banquet party.

Angelica: But I wanna look good on national television!

Ad Announcer: Now or else we won't show it on television!

Angelica: Alright already!

After a few minutes in reel time, Angelica appears in her normal clothes. She walks over to the table with the candy.

Angelica: I just love chocolate. Especially with a peanut butter center. Let me tell you about the time I once tried to make my own candy like that. I just took some chocolate, some peanut butter and...

Reel time, two hours later...

Angelica: And that's how I became popular in school.

Ad Announcer: Uh Angelica, eat the stupid things already. My camera man and the rest of the crew have fainted from extreme boredom!

Angelica: Hold your horses!

She takes the candy and bites it, then sucks out the peanut butter, before swallowing the chocolate.

Ad Announcer: It's impossible to incorrectly eat a Meese's. And it's impossible to do these commercials with these frigging Rugrats -- I quit!

Ad Announcer #2: And also try Messe's Pieces -- peanut-buttery goodness in a hard candy shell.

Tommy eats a few Messe's Pieces.

Tommy: Find out why nobody hates Meese's to pieces!

The End


Back To Rugrats Fan Fiction Back To Main Rugrats Page