The Tweenage Rugrats In:
"Substitute Dude"

By Dwayne Anderson

It was Monday morning at Jim Jr. Junior High School. The tweenagers were in their classroom.

Jim Skinner, the principal came in.

"As you may or may not know" said Jim, "Mrs. Guppy will not be here all week due to a throat infection. So you will all have a substitute teacher for the next week."

After he left, the kids started talking excitedly.

"A substitute teacher!" said Tommy.

"I'm going to take out my old pea shooter" said Phil. "Whoever the woman is, she's spitball bait."

"I'm going to issue a book drop" said Kimi. "Everyone will drop their books when the teacher asks to take them out."

"And I'm going to go with a fake name" said Chuckie. "She may even think she came to the wrong classroom!"

Just then, the door opened. Everyone was quiet.

In came a young man dressed in a black leather jacket, a red shirt, blue jeans, sunglasses, and black shoes. His black hair was neatly combed.

"Hey, that's no woman!" said Phil.

The man took off his sunglasses. "Hello children. My name is Mr. Stevenson, but you can call me Ramone. I will be your substitute teacher for the next week."

"Ramone?" thought Tommy. "Why does that name sound so familiar?"

"I will begin by calling the roll" said Ramone.

He called everyone in alphabetical order, until he came to Tommy.

"Tommy Pickles?" he said to himself. "That's a familiar name."

"Here!" said Tommy.

"Well, if it isn't the little dude himself!" said Ramone.

Tommy was shocked. Everyone was.

"It's been quite a while Tommy" said Ramone. "Remember when you came to my high school years ago? I was the one who changed your diaper."

"Yes" said Tommy.

Everyone laughed.

After Ramone finished calling the roll, he said "Your teacher left me a list of things to do, but I'll do things a little differently."

He picked up the science textbook and began to read from it.

"We'll begin by reading about the various types of energy" he said.

"Excuse me Ramone" said Tommy, "what have you been up to these last years ever since I came to your school?"

"Yeah tell us!" said a girl.

"Well, ok" said Ramone. "I've been doing alot."

He proceeded to tell everyone about himself.

"One time, my Home Ec teacher found some gum on me, so she asked if I had enough for everyone. And I said I did. So I took out 368 sticks of gum!"

Everyone laughed.

In fact, Ramone spent much of the period talking about himself before he finally got back to reading from the textbook.

Tommy thought to himself, "I wanna be just like Ramone!"

To Be Continued

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