The Tweenage Rugrats In
The "Whiz Quiz" Losers' Tournament

By Jamey Greek, Steve Mindykowski & Dwayne Anderson


It was a normal summer Monday afternoon at Tommy & Dil's house. The Rugrats were watching TV while Didi was making lunch.

Suddenly, the phone rang. Didi answered.

"Hello?" said Didi. "Yes, this is she. Really?! Alright! I'll tell the kids!"

Meanwhile, while everyone was eating lunch, Didi told them the news.

"Kids," Didi announced, "Remember when you were on 'Whiz Quiz'? Well, they called, and they invited you back to participate in the losers' tournament!"

Everyone cheered.

"Hey Deed," said Stu, "How about we call everyone and tell them about it?"

That night, in the living room, Stu lectured the Rugrats about the game:

"It is a simple question and answer game. Last time, you were playing around with the game too much, especially with your buzzers. If you are asked to phrase in the form of the question you say what is such-and-such? Like for example: 'What is oatmeal?' Understand?"

"Got it," said the Rugrats.

Stu said, "Now let's start practicing. Tommy, I'll start with you. What is the capital of Florida?"

"Tallahassee," replied Tommy.

"Right," said Stu. "Chuckie, who is the dictator of Cuba?"

Fidel Castro replied Chuckie

"Correct," Stu replied. "Phil, what was bombed on December 7, 1941?"

"Pearl Harbor," replied Phil.

"Correct. Lil, what comic strip features Snoopy?"

"'Peanuts'", replied Lil.

"Correct!", exclaimed Stu.

"Dil," Stu said, "When this fell in 1989, it took Communism with it and reunited a country..."

"The Berlin Wall," replied Dil.

"Correct! Kimi, who was Julius Ceasar's Wife?" asked Stu.

"Calpurnia," answered Kimi.

"Correct! That's all for now; let's eat and we'll continue tomorrow."

The next morning, all the kids meet again at Tommy & Dil's house. They entered the kitchen, only to see 6 silver bells on the table. Didi played emcee.

"Kids," Didi announced, "I'll ask some multiple choice questions and If you know the answer ring the bell. Got it? Alright, let's begin -- What is the capital an largest city of Georgia -- A: Atlanta, B: Macon, C: Columbus or D: Augusta?"

Lil rang first.

"Lil?" Didi said.

"Atlanta."

"That is correct. Now, who ran for president from 1981 to 1989 -- A: George W. Bush, Sr., B: Bill Clinton, C: Richard Nixon or D: Ronald Reagan?"

Kimi rang in.

"Ronald Reagan," Kimi replied.

"Correct. Now, who invented the traffic light? A: Garrett Morgan, B: George Washington Carver, C: Thomas Edison or D: Alexander Graham Bell?"

Phil rang his buzzer.

"Garrett Morgan," replied Phil.

"Correct!", Didi said. "Now, the next question Tommy or Dil only. What major event caused President Nixon to resign?"

Tommy rang his bell.

"Tommy?" called Didi.

"Watergate," replied Tommy.

"...is right!", exclaimed Didi. "You're all now ready before the taping tomorrow night!"

The next evening It was showtime. Just about everyone in the Rugrats' families were there -- their boyfriends and girlfriends, Grandpa and Lulu, and Chuckie & Kimi's grandparents.

Just then the "Whiz Quiz" announcer Jay Stewart introduced the show.

"Tonight, two teams of these memorable losers from past shows will be competing for bigger and better prizes, as we present the special losers tournament of the game show where a little knowledge takes a long way! It's Whiz Quiz! And now, here is the Whiz Quiz Quiz Wiz, Wink Martindale!"

Everyone applauded.

"Thank you, Jay Stewart. Good evening, and welcome to Whiz Quiz, a game where the knowledge of basic facts can help you win big prizes. Tonight, we are having a Tournament of Losers in which we give all of our losers a second chance! Previously, the only winnings they took home was the standard selection of consolation prizes, but tonight, we'll be giving them a second chance to win bigger and better prizes. We have chosen these contestants, as we thought that they were the most memorable losers this season. In the loser's tournament, we'll be diverting from our regular format a little bit, as two teams of six students will be vying for prizes. Jay Stewart, please tell us about tonight's losers!"

"Team one, representing Jim Jr. Jr. High school in, er, funny, their hometown is left blank, here are Tommy and Dil Pickles, Chuckie and Kimi Finster and Phil & Lil Deville!"

Everyone applauded.

"And team two, representing Roosevelt Franklin Middle School in Toledo, Ohio, here are Mark Willis, Katie Phillips, Dean Lundgren, Martin Thornberry, Eric Pratt and Lisa Foutley!"

Wink said, "Thank you, Jay. Now, let's remind the viewers how these teams got to this special tournament. Earlier, the Jim Jr. team was having alot of difficulty with the buzzers. Watch this."

A clip from the Rugrats' previous appearance is presented.

"Here is your first question."

Tommy rang the buzzer.

Wink started to laugh. "Uh, wait for the question."

Lil rang the buzzer.

"Didn't you heard me?" asked Wink.

Kimi rang the buzzer. "Yes we did." (rimshot)

"Good answer! Good answer! Alright!" cheered the three teams.

"Are you going to wait for the question?" asked Wink.

Lil rang the buzzer. "No." (rimshot)

"Good answer! Yay!" cheered the teams.

"Don't buzz in until you can say the answer" said Wink.

Kimi rang the buzzer. "The answer!" (rimshot)

"Very well" said Wink. "The answer...is what."

"It was?" asked Chuckie. "What was the question?"

"I don't know" said Wink.

"Then don't buzz in" said Lil.

"I didn't buzz in!" shouted Wink.

"Then you can't answer the question" said Kimi. (rimshot)

Everyone in the audience was laughing hysterically.

Back to the tournament, Wink said, "A few weeks later, a group of students from Roosevelt Franklin participated, but they were kind of hung up on a question. Take a look."

A clip from their previous appearance is presented.

The capitol of Canada is in this city.

Lisa buzzed in.

"Lisa?"

"Uh...Canada City?", answered Lisa.

Everybody laughed.

"Sorry, but no."

Mark buzzed in.

"Is it... Omaha?"

"No."

The audience laughed some more.

Eric buzzed in.

"I know... Iowa!"

Wink said, "Sorry, it's Ottawa!"

Eric replied, "Ottawa? I thought Des Moines is the capitol of Ottawa!"

The audience was in an uproar.

Wink said, "Now that you got to know the contestants a little better, let me explain the rules. The game is divided into three major rounds. For each question you answer correctly, you get one point. Round one has questions with multiple choice. Round two is the same, but without multiple choice. Round three is the A&Q round, where your answer is in the form of a question. In this special tournament, any correct answer will give you one point, but any incorrect answer will pass control to the opponent, where they'll be given a chance to earn the point on that same question. The team with the most points after round three wins the game, and advances to our bonus round, The Big Picture. If the winners in tonight's game are among the highest this season, they'll return for the Tournament of Champions, which begins next week, where a lucky winner will take home $250,000 in US Savings Bonds; and this..."

Jay Stewart announced, "A new car!"

The audience applauds with such frenzy.

Jay continued, "This lovely 4-door Ford Mustang come equipped with leather interior, automatic transmission, CD player, AM-FM stereo, air conditioning, anti-lock brakes, passenger-side airbags and California emission. The Ford Mustang."

"Now let's proceed to round one," said Wink.

He went to his podium.

"Remember, when, and only when, you have the answer to a question, just hit the black buzzer in front of you. Understand?"

The contestants nodded.

Wink picked up a card.

"Here is your first question: The Simpsons live next door to this family -- A. Van Houten, B. Wiggum, C. Burns, D. Flanders."

Tommy buzzed in.

"Jim Jr., Tommy."

"Flanders?", answered Tommy.

"Correct," said Wink. Now, Which interstate does not enter Florida? A. I-95, B. I-75, C. I-65, D. I-10."

Lisa buzzed in.

"Franklin, Lisa."

"I-75?", responded Lisa.

"No, sorry. Jim Jr.?"

Chuckie buzzed in.

"Chuckie."

"I-65?", answered Chuckie.

"Correct! Here's the third question -- In contrast to a traffic circle, incoming traffic yields for this type of intersection: A. roundabout, B. rotary, C. traffic circle, D. .turbine."

A couple of seconds pass. No one buzzed in. Two quick buzzes sound.

Wink said, "That was A, Roundabout. Question 4 -- This person was the 16th US President -- A. James Garfield, B. Abraham Lincoln, C. Andrew Jackson, D. Andrew Johnson."

Martin buzzed in.

""Lincoln?", replied Martin.

"Correct," said Wink. "Franklin's now on the board, and here's question 5 -- Water that falls from the sky as drops is called... A. Rain, B. Snow, C. Hail, or D. Lightning."

Lisa buzzed in.

"Rain?" answer Lisa.

"Correct! Both teams are tied at 2 apiece. Here's question 6 -- Who was a printer, author, inventor, diplomat, statesman, and Founding Father, but was never President of the United States? A. George Washington, B. Ben Franklin, C. John Adams, D. James Madison ."

Lil buzzed in.

"Ben Franklin?", said Lil.

"Correct! Now for question 7 -- This TV series is about a ficticious family rock band, whose albums in real life included an 'Album', a 'Sound Magazine', and even a 'Crossword Puzzle': A. The Brady Bunch, B. All In The Family, C. Happy Days, D. The Partridge Family."

Eric buzzed in.

"The Brady Bunch," responded Eric.

"Sorry, said Wink. "Jim Jr., care to steal?"

Angelica buzzed in.

"The Partridge Family," said Angelica.

"Correct. Here's question 8: Which of these states are not served by the Tennessee Valley Authority? A. Georgia, B. Kentucky, C. Alabama, D. Florida."

Eric buzzed in.

"Florida," Eric said.

"Correct. Question 9: What famous hockey player wore the number '99' on his jersey? A. Gordie Howe, B. Tim Horton, C. Wayne Gretsky, D. Brett Hull."

Kimi buzzed in.

"Wayne Gretsky," answered Kimi.

"Correct. And now, the last question in this round -- at the end of the famous TV ad, how many licks does it take to get to the center of the Toosie Roll Pop? A.1, B.2, C.3, D. 'The World May Never Know.'"

Dean buzzed in.

"The World May Never Know."

"Correct," said Wink. "And that's the end of the first round, and the score is Jim Jr. 5, Roosevelt Franklin 4. And coming up, round two, where the contestants have to think up the answers themselves. But first, these words."

To Be Continued


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